Bent Wings

Bending wings against the outer realm,

Realizing dreams are reduced to Loving God,

Above all my hope in dreams have become,

Dreams of Hope in Love.

Clipped wings, falling straight down,

Bound by the flesh and the world which consumes,

I’ve misused my faith and gone astray,

Swayed from the love which feeds to the

sin that leads to death.

Climbing back on track,

before we reach the depths below,

Slow is this track back to His Glory,

My story is not finished yet Nate!!

Father please restore to me my place in your kingdom,

I’ve known no other freedom with a foundation,

Such a foundation based on this relationship,

No money or muscle could get me there,

No war, power, or fame, and no conjured blame,

Could I point my finger to for the Stray!!

I alone missed the mark Lord! Me!

Flew past it in pursuit of the dark,

Found that in this stride I let slide,

the one thing that made this life mine, You!!

A Love that satisfies any lust,

A love that frees us from the by product of mis-trust,

A love that gives us the ability to Love our neighbors,

and hate the sin.

A love that begins and ends in thanks on our knees,

in thanks to our dreams

in thanks to our friends,

in thanks to our future  and our memories.

You, father, are the reason for hope,

I am the dope that dropped the ball,

Begging forgiveness and the return or your ring

upon my naked hand,

I’ve not crash landed to my death yet,

Help me to lean on you,

Rise above the filth that i trudge through,

and be the man you once knew.

Here I am Lord pick me,

Standing on my knees to give you everything,

A dirty heart in Hand,

Help me to understand my foe,

Woe is me, who feigned his trust in Thee,

and let go of this only worthy dream.

I stand before you broken and contrite,

Fallen without a fight,

Arm in arm with the untrusting lust of the world,

and hurlded into Hell on earth.

Jesus let my death be more glorious than my earthly birth,

Help me to trust in your Spirit, Oh Lord!!

With Sword in hand,

and able to stand in the midst of adversity and shame,

Tame my heart and strengthen my soul,

for you Lord and only you can make me whole.



Coming to Jesus in a parking lot

So I came home, leaving a good paying job to do so.  After about 10 months without work, the bills were beginning to pile up.  I needed some quick money and the only thing I knew how to do was to sell drugs.  I made the decision to go back to the only life I knew.  On my way to Suffolk to start selling drugs again, I turned down the wrong road and something drew me into a church parking lot, where I intended to just turn around.  It ended up being the right road, and my life did turn around, it changed forever that day.

            “Something had driven me to go this direction and I actually stopped in a parking space.  I just sat there and turned the truck off and started having a conversation with God right there.  I thought I was going crazy.  I did not understand at first what was going on, but I knew it was Him.  I had never heard from Him like this before.  That is when I said, ‘God, if you are real then kill me or change me.’  He answered my prayers and did both.  Instantly He killed the old Anthony and changed me forever.” 

            “While I was out there in the parking lot, a lady had come out to see what I was doing, asked me if I was okay, as I said ‘yeah, I think so’.  She worked in the office of the church, making the comment to someone else in the church that there was a crazy guy out in the parking lot who looks like he just came from a motorcycle gang.  Then the youth pastor came out andI began to talk to him, and ended up going inside the church with him.  We sat in the youth room and talked for a few hours in there and he invited me to come back to church that night.  I came back that night to the service sat in the back row and gave my life to Christ. 

That is when I actually prayed the sinners’ prayer.  The youth pastor resigned that next day.  It was orchestrated from God to happen, otherwise I probably would not have been saved if I had come there any later.

2012-11-10 14.08.48

Happy Mnother’s Day, wish you were here.

Hello Mother

            May I sing you a song?

            Death trailing all of us,

            I missed you at dawn,

            Sun going down,

            Margaritas in hand,

            The warmth of the Keys,

            December in the sand.

Mother I miss you,

            Cry for you in my sleep,

            Reminiscing of days I would love to repeat,

            How do I let them know?

            I am not who they think,

            Oh mother please,

            Point me the way,

            Into a new-fangled ease.

A year ago today,

            I cried at your side,

            Held your hand tight,

            Whispered in your ear,

            And kissed you good-bye,

            For this I know,

            I’ll never let anyone inside,

            I’m sorry God. 


Passing the torch to Jesus

But if I were you, I would appeal to God;
I would lay my cause before him.
He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed,
miracles that cannot be counted.
He provides rain for the earth;
he sends water on the countryside.

You know I try really hard to let other know about the Love Jesus but I am not so good at conversation.  I am much better at the written word.  But all in all, between the two, I still would love to lead others to the Lord.  I know it is not in my power, but I would love to see the fruits of the labors of my book Miracle at the Garage.  I would like to know if others have been blessed at all, or if I was able to get them on the path at least.  I have to know that, with God asking me to  write the book that He will be true to finish the work.  So I am passing the torch to Jesus, and I am going to continue to write about His love and about His grace and the Miracles he has done in my life in every venue i can find.  Not to promote the book so to speak, as much as it is a manual that shows the truth of what God has done and can do for any one of us.  Not to make a financial profit, (although every 25 cents i make does help a little, which is about the size of the profit on each book, less so on the e-book), but to make a spiritual difference to others, as I now know the truth of Him and His life and why He loves us so much.  I was blind and now I see.  Still I would like to know that I have done what He wanted me to do.  He has provided so wonderfully for me, and to think I actually doubted His existence, but also I doubted Him after i was saved when it came to me finding work, yet still He provided beyond my expectations.  Amen.

Father God, thank you for your son Jesus Christ, in whom I have placed so much hope and love.  Thank you for your love and your touch on my life and family, as without you I would be lost.  Father, forgive me for I am a sinner, with a sinners heart, and I rely on you daily to keep me mindful of you.  Please surround us with your love and blessings, and thank you for not condemning me when I was not trusting you completely.  In Jesus mighty name,



Awaken the Dawn

In the midst of having a few hiccups along the way with this new job I still love it.  I have made a few mistakes and have learned from them, but I do really love it.  My most difficult part is my feeling of unworthiness for the position as well as the feeling of being unfairly compared to others there.  I do not think it is happening though except in my brain.  I grew up with the “life lesson” of “never expect to be praised for a job you are supposed to do”.  The biggest failure of that statement is that if you never receive praise you may feel inadequate.  I know that this is nothing more than the fear of man, and that God has placed me in this position.  I spoke of that in a blog a few weeks ago, so we all know it was God’s hand in this.

So what do we do with this fear of man?  Letting go and letting God is such a broad statement and it is never that simple.  Praising him in the morning in the evening and all the day long will get rid of the feeling of unworthiness.  Because if you realy think about it, it matters not what others think about us, it matters that GOD loves us in our entirety.  He loves our inadequacies, our pain, our difference, our hang-ups, and our struggles.  He knows ever hair on our head, and with that, he knows us and cares for us, more than we care for ourselves.  We don’t even know the hair on our head.  I have no hair so I have made it easier for him to know more of me :-).

I went to the psalms this morning and Psalm 108 through 113 really got my attention as to fear, and where it should be directed.


Praise the Lord!

Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,
Who delights greatly in His commandments.

His descendants will be mighty on earth;
The generation of the upright will be blessed.
Wealth and riches will be in his house,
And his righteousness endures forever.
Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness;
He is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous.
A good man deals graciously and lends;
He will guide his affairs with discretion.
Surely he will never be shaken;
The righteous will be in everlasting remembrance.
He will not be afraid of evil tidings;
His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
His heart is established;
He will not be afraid,
Until he sees his desire upon his enemies.

He has dispersed abroad,
He has given to the poor;
His righteousness endures forever;
His horn will be exalted with honor.
10 The wicked will see it and be grieved;
He will gnash his teeth and melt away;
The desire of the wicked shall perish.

Ches Bay

Ches Bay

In the world today, we have gone astray to be on this quest for more
power, pleasure, and wealth. In this, I realized that I am as guilty as
the next and decided through the power of Jesus, that I will lay that
burden down, and pick up the pieces He has given me, and make the most
of those. To stop pushing to that financial end that I so try to
manipulate. Instead to be content, nay, happy in the cards that God has
dealt as they are for me. Those things which I create, I have decided
to let go of them and let God have them to do what He wants with them.
In that quest for what “I” wanted, I forgot to ask God what He
wanted of my life. So in thinking about that, I feel as if this
blessing of a new job and life has been shadowed by my lust for more
wealth and power. I want to live simply in His truth not in mine. So
in that, I will stop the half truths, and manipulation and the trying of
selling God’s love.
Have a committed daily prayer life. Get involved in a small
group where you can open up and share in God’s word. Go to church or
some worship service regularly. In your prayer life ask God to identify
those who need your help. He will be happy to help you spread His joy.

And Thank Him for everything you have, as we will all be dust someday.  It will be too late then to thank Him.


Have a J.O.B. (just over broke)? Work from home.

Do you work in a J.O.B. (just over broke) that you would rather stop going to.  Want more time with family and children? Did you know that you can work from home? It’s possible to work from home anywhere, and if you would like to work from home, you should know that there are tons of opportunities for you to work at home and be your own boss. Are you a mother? If so, it could be that you wish to be a work at home mom so that you can raise your children and enjoy them while earning income.

These days, there are more and more work from home moms than ever. This year, in 2013, women are discovering just how easy it can be to set up a home based business and run it online right from home. It’s NEVER easy, is it? Do you desire to make a life change? Do you want to earn an income but have the ability to work from home? If so, then I just may be able to help you learn what you need in order to do so.

How to Get Started to Work from Home

So, you want to learn how you can work from home? It is easy, and the best part is that there is very little capital needed upfront to do so. Most businesses take anywhere from $25,000 and up to start, and the higher the number these days, the more unlikely they are to succeed! Most businesses end up spending so much upfront, that they end up with very little to market their brand and business properly.

This is why so many businesses are now using the internet to cut their advertising budget in half, or even by as much as 70%! Business owners know that they can’t go without marketing, but today you have tools like:

  • Websites
  • Landing pages
  • Capture pages
  • Blogs
  • Video Marketing
  • Social media and more!

With so many online options, it’s easier than ever to work from home! See how easy it could be to market your brand and business, and connect with your audience online? Don’t you think it’s amazing how marketing with social media has replaced the need for newspaper and even TV in many cases?

Goodbye to expensive marketing, and say hello to those that know that marketing online is the best way to get ahead and reach out to connect with others and much more. Can you imagine how great it would be to get feedback and interact with your audience on a daily basis all through Facebook, Twitter, and even Pinterest?

So, what do you use as a bridge to get there?

The Right Platform to Work from Home

Now that you know why online business works, and why it’s so easy to work from home, it’s time for me to share with you that it’s all about  choosing  the right platform to promote yourself too. It’s never easy to impress everyone, so it’s all about targeting the audience you specially wish to win over.

If you have a super optimized platform, or an online system that works to help you get noticed in the search engines, then you will be able to easily grow your business and get more visibility in search engines. This means that if you are a work at home mum, you can easily spend about an hour a day marketing yourself, growing a nice long term income over time.

Are you now seeing more clearly how you can make that all happen? If you are looking for a way to be your own boss, and to set your own hours, or even avoid sending your children to daycare, then click below right now to learn how you can easily work from home!